Suddenly I get it.

Back when I stopped blogging I did tell a few (a very few) people that yes, I would definitely still be blogging. A comment was passed that a friend hoped I still blogged Raw. She liked my raw posts. At the time I felt that was a very strange thing to say. But now I get it.

See, a fellow blogger is going through the emotional wringer for being caught out. Bloggers, being a special breed, get to see what goes on in other bloggers brains. Generally. There are some psycho’s out there that getting into their brain is about as much fun as being in that pit in Saw 3 with the rotting pig carcasses. I digressed.

This blogger clearly does not fall into the above category. She is amazing. And she has just written the most raw post I’ve ever read. It had me in tears at one point.

And now I get the appeal of reading a well written raw post. When I started this blog I thought I’d be a humorous blog. With none of that raw vulnerability. And now I’ve changed my mind.

***

I have been talking to SR a bit over the last few days. I had intended to shag him again. Basically I want to go exclusive with Overflow. And SR was going to be a bit of fun before it. Yep. Like a fool I rang and texted him. We arranged a meet. For tonight.

I can hear everyone going ‘oh no!’ Right? Maybe even someone calling me a silly cunt? Yeah, I deserve it.

I texted him this morning to see if he was still available. Cuz, you know, we made this plan five days ago and he’s not that reliable. And while I went back to work and was waiting for a response, I realised that I really wasn’t into it. I just didn’t give a shit if he said no. Matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. Why would I do that to myself? For a piece of ass? I’m so much better than that.

Matter of fact, I resolved that if he did respond yes, I’d fake the whole ‘get my period’.

Maybe even straight up call him an asshat and thinking back to what the did to me, he’d be best if he jumped off the top of the Harbour Bridge. I’ll even pay for him to go on the climb. Fuckwit.

Holidays

So my holidays are almost over now.  I really don’t want to go back to work tomorrow. But I don’t care either. I know I’ll have to go back eventually. It helps that this is only a 3 day week for me, and it ends with a long weekend and a job interview.

So its kind of a soft intro back to work.

Still, getting up at 6:30 tomorrow is going to suck.

The holidays were pretty damn good. We had a family reunion on the day I got down there. I had arranged lunch with my Aunt the week before hand. And she outdid herself! Everybody was there except for my Mum (who was up country), my Dad (who’s not affiliated with that part of the family any more) and my brother (who had plans already. I got to meet some cousins wives and kids. Funness to be had in general.

I haven’t seen my mum in 18 months. So it was great to catch up with her. The old girl gets paid for 24 hours of the 40 that she works a week. So I gave her a tank of petrol, kicked in for some groceries and took her to lunch. And because we’re addicted to scrabble, we had a game. Which I won. Not that that’s the point for me, I just have a good track record of it on facebook. Her dictionary is crap. So I scoured three bookstores for a scrabble dictionary. Which I left sitting on her table when I left. She got it that night when she finished work.

Back to the city for a few days to see some mates from school and the Matchbox Twenty concert. Which was BRILLIANT. Not as good as Snow Patrol. But so much more chilled out. I was barely aware of my sister sitting next to me. I could have been sitting in the front row or the back row. It didn’t matter. There was just me and the band as far as I was concerned. I grew up with Matchbox Twenty. They have always been my favourite band. So it was one emotional journey for me. High School, uni, making my way in the world and turning into the person I am today. All packed into 2 hours. I have the audio too. Downloaded it (legally, for once) and have been listening to it on repeat for the past few hours. Bliss.

I saw Overflow the day that I got back. Did our thang. In discussion I told him of the job interview happening on Friday in the city. And he said we should go to a certain nightclub after work. And without thinking I said I had to be back because I did have a dentist appointment Friday night. And conversation flowed as usual. I have just one question.

Did Overflow just ask me out?

Holiday Bitches!

How much have I loved the past few days? Fuckloads, that’s how much. I’m on holidays. And loving it! Sleeping til noon (or later), shopping at whim, eating whenever I want. Jeez. I even have time to spend with the kids. And by kids I mean cats. Cuz I really don’t like small people. I spent an hour out on the balcony on Wednesday, just sittin in the sun and having a laugh. I miss that.

Tomorrow I fly to Melbourne for a week. I haven’t seen my family in 18 months. And its going to be jam packed with friends and relatives. And the Matchbox 20 concert. Fuck, the thought of that makes me moist!

I’ll be back in a week or so.

More on the dentist.

After friday’s dental work I felt great. Completely numb in all sore spots. And I took that opportunity to sleep. Saturday was ok. Saturday was when I blogged last.

Saturday night was terrible. I must have popped ibuprofen like it was skittles. And apsrin. And vodka, just to complete the mix. I was in motherfucking PAIN!!! When the ibuprofen ran out, I was texting a mate at 2 am to see if she had anything else I could take.

I was out of bed at first light. Stalking the house. Waiting for the doctors to open. I was there at 10. Waited half an hour and was in there for maybe 10 minutes. I walked out with a prescription for pandine forte and some potent assed antibiotics. Both prescriptions got filled asap and I was drugged out, in bed by 11.30

Deb rang at 1 to drop of some penut butter m&m’s (cuz you can only get them from specialty stores in aus). And I waited out the front to give her back her vodka. Fuck me I was sooo stoned. I dropped the catalogues I was reading, said ‘oh dear’, and dropped more as I bent over to pick them up. And instead of developing tourettes, all I said was ‘oh dear’. And then dropped more and did the same thing. At this point Deb was pissing herself laughing. She said something about her dogs hearing my voice and all I could say was ‘bye-bye’. About 3 times. Then I turned around and just… ambled… off. I was so out of it.

Yesterday was agony. I am quite the masochist at times. For example I must pop pimples, poke sore spots and scratch cuts. And this tooth… I had to press it. No matter how painful it was. And it was fucking painful. I left work at 2.30. Asleep by 3. Between 3 and getting up for work this morning, I was awake for only 3 hours. And that was to take more pills, yak and answer one very important email.

Today was better. Except for the fact that I had a huge mother of a lump on the roof of my mouth. Turns out that yesterday I burst a tooth abscess and this was where it had drained to. I know this because I was back at the dentist tonight. If I hadn’t burst the abscess I’d be looking at root canal. In fact, I may still be looking at root canal. But the fact that I’m on antibiotics that are aimed at abscesses/mouth infections means that I’ve been treating this the right way without even knowing it.

How good am I?

Pain. Much Pain.

Its nearly 2 pm and I’m sitting here in my jammies. My hair is greasy and I need to brush my teeth. I slept last night. I actually slept!

For the past few nights I’ve woken up in torment. I have a toothache. Neurofen doesn’t work. Codeine doesn’t work. I’m in agony. Two nights ago it took two codeine, two neurofen and a shot of vodka to get me to sleep. Seriously dangerous stuff. Especially since they advocate no more than 6 neurofen a day, and that was over an hour. I think I passed out rather than went to sleep.

I went to the dentist last night. From all accounts it sounds like I have an infection UNDER a filling. Fucking OUCH!!!!

The x ray showed nothing, if it is what they think then I got in too early for anything to show. But they took the filling out and put two anti biotic linings in. Hopefully it will fix it. I took the opportunity of being numb to sleep for an hour when I got home. That hour was worth more than all the sleep I’d had all week.

And for now I’m still drugged to the eyeballs.

Updation!

Ok. This is a long one. I am finally updating about all that has happened in the month since I closed Phishez.

I am still seeing Overflow on a regular basis. So regular in fact, that he is no longer Overflow. Though after he got cum in my hair from doggy (yes fingers, head hair) maybe I should rename him. Nah, I like the name. It’s still casual and it was only last night that I told him I’m not seeing anyone else. So we;ll see how it progresses from here.

I am no longer working with Green Eyes. *boo*. I am going on holidays to Melb in a week or so, and as such work has given the opportunity to train someone else up in that area. Green Eyes is most displeased. Though that could be because he went away for a few days and came back to some seriously sick animals. Which had nothing to do with me. This is supposed to only be until I get back from holidays. The boss has already tried to implement changes that are detrimental to the room. I knocked that on the head pretty damn quickly though. Was a hell of a fight though.

On the plus side, my workload has lightened considerably, and I even got to sit down for half an hour before knock off time!

I have had several screaming matches with my supervisor. He has triend the ‘I’m in charge and what I say goes’ which really doesn’t roll with me. He has no idea what mork I do around the place, makes no effort to find out, and never remembers anything I tell him. He listens to what he wants to hear and will throw shit that I’ve told him back at me. Except he doesn’t actually know what I’ve said to him. I think my blood pressure rose just typing that.

I went away for the weekend. Over the mountains, and on to the next set of mountains in central NSW. Was a great weekend out at a property that was full of roo’s and rabbits. Great country hospitality, bushfires, toasting marshmallows, army boys and excess piss. Its been too long since I’ve been out that way and that life is so different from the one I live now. I yearn for a place where you can’t hear traffic

Bit of reflection: I am so stoked with the NSW police. An easter road toll of 0 is just too good to be true. On the way out to the property I must have seen about 6 police cars. And I was quite happy with that. To me the road toll is not just a number. Its someone who won’t be going home to their loved ones. Their kids will not be seeing their parents tonight, tomorrow. They won’t be there for weddings and graduations. They will never know their grandkids. They will never joke around with their mates again. Never have a few bevvies with the blokes/gals. So yeah, the police presence might be a pain in the arse, but I’m happy to put up with it if it saves even one person.

Easter happened. I didn’t get any easter eggs but I did get to suck cock. And I have to say, I so love post easter sales at darrell lea. YUM!!!!

I saw 10,000BC. Man that was one fucking AWESOME movie. Completely wrong, but completely fantastic at the same time. The effects were astounding. Well worth seeing in the cinema, to get the full effect of the movie. If you’re even considering going to see it, then stop considering and go buy a ticket. STAT!!!

I have some decent posts written to come in the next few days. Or I have some decent posts half-written for when I get blog-block.

My favourite saying at the moment – If men didn’t have dicks you’d throw rocks at them.

Too tired to blog now. Big weekend. Will blog tomorrow. If I’m not too worn out from seeing Overflow.

I really don’t like banana’s.

Really. When that cyclone went through north Queensland and wiped out the banana crops I must have been the only Aussie who didn’t give a damn. I mean, yeah. I cared about the farmers. But as far is it affected me… well, it didn’t.

I very rarely eat bananas as is. I might eat two per year. Thats one individual banana every six months. In a good year. In fact, the most common way for me to eat a banana is drowned in thick, sugary vanilla custard. Or in a smoothie where banana isn’t the predominant taste.

I buy bananas to put in my fruit salad. And then its only because I use that fruit salad to make smoothies. I had two in my fridge for a little longer than I should have kept them. A friend suggested that I mash them up to make a banana sundae with a twist. And I thought, ‘Hell YEAH’. I mean, even I like banana sundaes.

So I did. I mished and mashed, and warmed the banana up ever so slightly. And put heaps of creamy vanilla icecream over the top, with caramel sauce and a sprinkling of nuts.

And it was gross.

One banana down, one more to go. Tonight I attempted to do something a little different. I thought that if I mixed the banana with a bit of nutella it would be better.

So I did. I mished and mashed, and warmed the banana up ever so slightly. I mixed in a generous amount of nutella and put heaps of icecream on top. And I sat down to eat it.

Fucking DISGUSTING!!! The warm squishy banana mixed withoily nut flavoured chocolate just felt slimy. I could barely gag down the first mouthful. I ended up eating the icecream and leaving the brown goo. Only by the time I’d finished. The brown goo had a grey sheen to it from the melted icecream. I half expected a golgothan to rise from it.

I really don’t like bananas. Next time I’m gonna throw the fuckers out.

Question

Today I got told that my necklace is really cool.

By someone with dreadlocks dyed three shades of blue.

Is that a good thing?