One day to wallow.

I’m so fucking sick of this stage of my life right now. Right now everything is stuck, and shitty. I’m tired and bored and frustrated. I know the future is really looking forward, but right now I’m in several places as low as I can go.

Work sucks. The demotion is really getting to me. I’m beginning to really get pissed off at the big boss who shafted me down there. I requested HR get involved back in December. And my supervisor went to him the same day and requested they didn’t get involved. The new position itself is ok. More hands on animal work and out in the sun all day. No work politics. And I do get along well with my new supervisor. But a demotion is still a demotion.

I am no longer seeing Overflow. After 3 months he has become too busy to get laid. I asked him how long it would be for and he didn’t know. His words were ‘thats the essence of something casual… it can stop as easy as it starts…’ WTF!!! I thought of this guy as a friend. I spent the las three months developing a friendship with this guy. That may start easily, but it sure as hell doesn’t end easily. I don’t really give a damn about the sex ending. I can always get that somewhere else. But ending a friendship because there is no more sex to hold it up, that’s enough to make you develop instant tourettes!

Fucking cunts, the lot of them.

Meme

So I got tagged. Not once, but twice! Thanks guys. So here goes.

1. Pick up nearest book. Allphones Buyers Guide. I’m looking for a new mobile phone.

2. Open to page 123. It only has 56 pages, so I’ll add 1+2+3 and open to page six.

3. Find 5th sentence. Got it.

4. Post next 3 sentences. Get a massive $140 included credit per month & your free phone. We’re loving GPS Mapping with pre loaded maps; 2 megapixel camera and video; music player & FM radio with headphones; 3g capable. Also available on other plans.

5. Tag 5 people. No

Damn, if it had a 5mp camera I’d so be all over that like herpes on a hooker.

Snap!

I beleive the correct term is actually ‘SNAP MOTHERFUCKER!!!’ Excuse the language, but it is oh-so-sweet and very well earned.

Straight of the back of yesterday (no I’m not linking, scroll down and read it you lazy git) I got myself a new job! Much better pay (MUCH MUCH better), state of the art facility, fantastic boss, doing more of what I want to be doing.

Two of my references have already said that its the job for me. Green Eyes has already told me he lied for me. They asked if he knew if I had difficulty dealing with any fellow staff members in the past…

I think I owe him chocolates.

Lose-Lose

I have been demoted at work. My supervisor is a bully and I refuse to take it. And as a result of the infighting I lose.

I’m not really that worried about my new workload. I like the new area where I’ll be working. And its away from the rest of the cunts at work and is cruisier. I even like the guy I’ll be working with, where most others can’t even stand him.

GalPal was gutted. Nobody else stands up to the bully and she cops even more of it than I do. And for the first time I told Green Eyes that my supervisor is a bully, using that word, and telling him what has been going on. It was good to let it all out.

Suddenly I get it.

Back when I stopped blogging I did tell a few (a very few) people that yes, I would definitely still be blogging. A comment was passed that a friend hoped I still blogged Raw. She liked my raw posts. At the time I felt that was a very strange thing to say. But now I get it.

See, a fellow blogger is going through the emotional wringer for being caught out. Bloggers, being a special breed, get to see what goes on in other bloggers brains. Generally. There are some psycho’s out there that getting into their brain is about as much fun as being in that pit in Saw 3 with the rotting pig carcasses. I digressed.

This blogger clearly does not fall into the above category. She is amazing. And she has just written the most raw post I’ve ever read. It had me in tears at one point.

And now I get the appeal of reading a well written raw post. When I started this blog I thought I’d be a humorous blog. With none of that raw vulnerability. And now I’ve changed my mind.

***

I have been talking to SR a bit over the last few days. I had intended to shag him again. Basically I want to go exclusive with Overflow. And SR was going to be a bit of fun before it. Yep. Like a fool I rang and texted him. We arranged a meet. For tonight.

I can hear everyone going ‘oh no!’ Right? Maybe even someone calling me a silly cunt? Yeah, I deserve it.

I texted him this morning to see if he was still available. Cuz, you know, we made this plan five days ago and he’s not that reliable. And while I went back to work and was waiting for a response, I realised that I really wasn’t into it. I just didn’t give a shit if he said no. Matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. Why would I do that to myself? For a piece of ass? I’m so much better than that.

Matter of fact, I resolved that if he did respond yes, I’d fake the whole ‘get my period’.

Maybe even straight up call him an asshat and thinking back to what the did to me, he’d be best if he jumped off the top of the Harbour Bridge. I’ll even pay for him to go on the climb. Fuckwit.

Holidays

So my holidays are almost over now.  I really don’t want to go back to work tomorrow. But I don’t care either. I know I’ll have to go back eventually. It helps that this is only a 3 day week for me, and it ends with a long weekend and a job interview.

So its kind of a soft intro back to work.

Still, getting up at 6:30 tomorrow is going to suck.

The holidays were pretty damn good. We had a family reunion on the day I got down there. I had arranged lunch with my Aunt the week before hand. And she outdid herself! Everybody was there except for my Mum (who was up country), my Dad (who’s not affiliated with that part of the family any more) and my brother (who had plans already. I got to meet some cousins wives and kids. Funness to be had in general.

I haven’t seen my mum in 18 months. So it was great to catch up with her. The old girl gets paid for 24 hours of the 40 that she works a week. So I gave her a tank of petrol, kicked in for some groceries and took her to lunch. And because we’re addicted to scrabble, we had a game. Which I won. Not that that’s the point for me, I just have a good track record of it on facebook. Her dictionary is crap. So I scoured three bookstores for a scrabble dictionary. Which I left sitting on her table when I left. She got it that night when she finished work.

Back to the city for a few days to see some mates from school and the Matchbox Twenty concert. Which was BRILLIANT. Not as good as Snow Patrol. But so much more chilled out. I was barely aware of my sister sitting next to me. I could have been sitting in the front row or the back row. It didn’t matter. There was just me and the band as far as I was concerned. I grew up with Matchbox Twenty. They have always been my favourite band. So it was one emotional journey for me. High School, uni, making my way in the world and turning into the person I am today. All packed into 2 hours. I have the audio too. Downloaded it (legally, for once) and have been listening to it on repeat for the past few hours. Bliss.

I saw Overflow the day that I got back. Did our thang. In discussion I told him of the job interview happening on Friday in the city. And he said we should go to a certain nightclub after work. And without thinking I said I had to be back because I did have a dentist appointment Friday night. And conversation flowed as usual. I have just one question.

Did Overflow just ask me out?

Holiday Bitches!

How much have I loved the past few days? Fuckloads, that’s how much. I’m on holidays. And loving it! Sleeping til noon (or later), shopping at whim, eating whenever I want. Jeez. I even have time to spend with the kids. And by kids I mean cats. Cuz I really don’t like small people. I spent an hour out on the balcony on Wednesday, just sittin in the sun and having a laugh. I miss that.

Tomorrow I fly to Melbourne for a week. I haven’t seen my family in 18 months. And its going to be jam packed with friends and relatives. And the Matchbox 20 concert. Fuck, the thought of that makes me moist!

I’ll be back in a week or so.